tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-496644635572208494.post6878357524808818332..comments2024-03-08T09:45:12.625-05:00Comments on Beyond the Gentle Island: A Retired Wander's Journey: A Little Help from my Friends...that's what I needPEI Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03964571177408658694noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-496644635572208494.post-53291763913665823062012-06-04T18:45:05.266-05:002012-06-04T18:45:05.266-05:00I would leave it at the last line "Will her c...I would leave it at the last line "Will her choice alienate her from the only family she has?"<br /><br />Everything after that my brain tuned out I think (and I have nothing to actually base this on) that you don't really need the last line, if you ended where I think it should be enough of a hook to get readers to buy it. I would at least love to read it.Mandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07528497815202274359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-496644635572208494.post-41219191872385192612012-06-04T07:00:12.196-05:002012-06-04T07:00:12.196-05:00Excellent point...it does need tightening up. The...Excellent point...it does need tightening up. There's so much more to the book, that its hard to narrow it down to a paragraph, I'll keep working on it. Thanks so much!!!Danicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-496644635572208494.post-5864825720217051762012-06-03T15:57:45.107-05:002012-06-03T15:57:45.107-05:00This isn't right either, but there may be a wa...This isn't right either, but there may be a way to shorten the first bit and create a bit more mystery at the same time...? <br /><br />"After caring for her ailing parents most of her adult life, Lily West is now totally alone, or so she thought. A 20 year old letter discovered in her mother’s closet sends her (on an adventure?) far from home and in search of family she didn’t know existed."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com