Sea of Tranquility

So, I thought that it might be a good idea to start mediating. Something that I've always liked the idea of, but have never been able to achieve. (You know that scene in "Eat, Pray, Love" where she has to mediate for an hour or two and is already crazy in the second minute...that's me.)

I'm one of those people...my mind is constantly busy. If I was solving world problems, I wouldn't feel so bad about it, but it's mostly just drivel, interspersed with the odd moment of inspiration. Being a writer, I spend a lot of time just making stuff up in my head. Anyhow, due to a series of  unfortunate events, I've been feeling stressed out. (I know, what could possibly be stressful in my life? It's all relative...seriously.) Now, after all the horribleness and discord, it seems even more important.

Ron was out, I chose a nice relaxing piece of music that I used to use when I did yoga and positioned myself on the sofa, cross legged. I told myself that I could make it at least five minutes. I admit that it was a struggle. My mind is preprogrammed to roam. I realized that I could actually hold a quasi-mantra in my head and still think of things in behind it. I'd kill the rambling and refocus on breathing. It was hard work in a way. (I occasionally caught myself saying "shut up, stupid!" and that's not a healthy thought process, so I switched it to "not right now". It seemed to work.)

Now, I have no problem sitting still. Those who know me well, know that I'm notoriously lazy and can loaf around all day with little difficulty, but I have yet to achieve the same thing mentally. Sure, I had to shift my foot a couple of times to prevent developing pins and needles, but besides that I was still. I pushed through to the end of the song and then realized that it was 17  minutes long. I'd done it: passed the 5 minute mark and then tripled it. I'd managed to rein in my thoughts, sometimes for more than 30 seconds and I actually did feel calmer.

So what did I learn? Like anything, finding that moment of peace, no matter how fleeting isn't going to be easy. I'll need to work at it (especially since our oven still isn't working and needs to have all the thermostats tested...sigh), but it is possible - I hope. Here's to tranquility...in maybe five to eight months. 

However long it takes, let us find peace.