My Own Ugly Truth

 

When I could actually climb up onto something.

So, I've been in a lot of pain lately. It started with blowing out my back on the flight between Santiago and Auckland, but I thought I'd healed from that. My back would twinge off and on, but it wasn't anything I couldn't deal with. I like to think I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I've been doing all the "right" things: working on strengthening my core, keeping mobile, setting up the computer at a place where I could stand comfortably. I walked - a lot - to keep myself limber and probably was too stubborn about it. "Come on, Kid, walk it off!"

Then my back started stiffening up and a week later I had pains shooting down my left leg and it was hard to sleep through the night. I could barely turn over. Sciatica. Not pleasant. I went to massage therapy, not those nice calming massages that you get when you're on vacation, but one of those muscle probing, subcutaneous manipulating massages that leave you bruised, but somehow strangely hopeful.

The joys of a functioning body

That was almost three weeks  ago and I'm still suffering. (I'm hoping that it's improving, but if I don't take ibuprofen or other anti-inflammatory, the pull of the nerve hurts. I've gone to another massage appointment, a physio treatment and one with a chiropractor, but here's the truth of it: I probably should have taken care of it when I first realized I couldn't do the things I normally could. (You know: touch my toes, tie my shoes without discomfort.) I just didn't have it in me. I didn't want to "deal" with finding someone, making arrangements (possibly in Spanish) and figuring out the where, how and how much of it. And my hesitancy led to this. And all because it's different here. 

Me, feeling like Humpty Dumpty

There aren't a lot of walk-in clinics, so you have to get to the doctor's office early, make an appointment (if you're lucky enough) and then return later to get checked out. Then, should I need x-rays, I need to go somewhere else and then return to the doctor to be seen again. Then I started wondering what I'd have to do if I needed an MRI or something. My concerns got the better of me. 

I'm glad to say I'm slowly on the mend (fingers crossed), but my laziness and reluctance to shake up my normal existence got the better of me. I'll never take my flexibility for granted again and will work hard at keeping and improving it. The more obstacles we face, the more comfortable we get, but our hesitancy might be our undoing when a new situation pops up. I guess that's something to take into consideration if you're looking at moving abroad. Can you do what it takes to take care of yourself in a time of crisis. Okay...crisis might be an overstatement, but I've never been in so much pain in my life!

This is Ecuador - The Oven Saga Cont'd.

I've been finding it really hard to concentrate after the attacks in Paris, Beirut, Syria, Mali etc, as well as the natural disaster. The wave of fear that has stuck usually logical and kind people is saddening. With all that I haven't had much time to celebrate the fact that our oven is now working.

No Oven Required

It feels a bit like a MasterCard commercial.

Part: $280
Shipping: $180
Import taxes and handling: $67 (usd)
Installation and further repair: $135 (usd)
Working oven: Priceless

This is part of life on another continent. On the same day that oven was up and running, our cable box went on the fritz and seemingly died. (Sigh.) However, after arranging to get a "tecnico" out the next day, we woke up and the darn thing was up and running. This is a perfect example that encapsulates what it is to be in Ecuador. Like any place, it isn't perfect, but you get out of it what you put in to it. Of course, this isn't always my forte. I'm a worrier and can't seem to help but imagine the worst case scenario for any problem. I like to think that this prepares me for bad outcomes, but it drives my poor husband crazy. He's more of a "don't worry about it until you actually know it's something you need to deal with" kind of guy. It doesn't matter where I'm living...I was the same back home, but it can make for extra stress, especially if you're trying to function in a second language.

Not my kitchen, but only slightly less useful...

The folks at TVCable don't seem to understand that speaking a bit slower might resolve the situation more quickly. I've also come to realize that Ecuadorians don't phrase things the same way. For example, I'm an English tutor to a 17 year old girl and her mother (inexplicably) wants me to help the daughter with a large Spanish writing project; a book about the young girl's life. (This is a school assignment.) So the mother wanted to know how much I would charge to help with the book, but she didn't ask me "How much will you charge to help with the book?" She asked (in Spanish or to be more PC: Castellano) "How much will the book cost?" I don't know how much it would cost to print up a book or buy the supplies to hand write it, so I replied "I don't know." I can now see why they had perplexed looks on their faces, but it took me overnight to understand what it was they were actually asking.

Something pretty to look at for when
we don't have cable or internet

Another example is speaking with TVCable. The account is under my husband's name, so of course they want to know who I am...I'm obviously not Ronaldo. They don't say "who are you?" or "who am I speaking with?" No, that would be to easy; they say something akin to "with whom do I have the pleasure of meeting?" Now, in English that doesn't seem so bad, but when it's cast at me in rapid fire Spanish, I usually miss this gist. I've called them enough now, that I pretty well have the drill down and I'm slowly getting to understand what it is they're saying, but as the title of this blog entry says "This is Ecuador."

How we feel now that the oven works!

Living abroad is a bit like a baseball game...long stretches of boredom interspersed with moments of excitement and sheer terror. So if you're considering it keep in mind: the quirkiness and unexpectedness; it's all part of the adventure.

End of an Era - Spanish Classes Complete

It seemed a bit of an anticlimax, my final Spanish lesson. I've been taking classes since November of 2013 pretty well non-stop, except for Christmas breaks and occasionally a couple of weeks of down time between sessions. It's hard to believe that the process has come to an end.


What have I achieved, you might ask? A good solid basis on which to improve my Spanish. Yes, after a year and a quarter I'm no where near fluent, nor do I think I ever hope to be, but I can get by. Sure, I mess up on conjugations, forget to use (or overuse) subjunctive and I could use a serious increase to my vocabulary, but what I do know seems to be useful. Case in point, we wanted to get some frosted window coating to cover half our master bathroom window, just for a bit of privacy. So we started checking all the little hardware tiendas in our neighbourhood, then we checked the plastic sellers (yes, there is such a thing here-they provide to-go containers, straws, plastic shopping bags etc.) but we weren't brave enough to go in and ask about a "cosa" (that means thing - we didn't know how to begin to describe what we were looking for) for our "ventana" (window).

Kind of apt, no?

We walk past a taller de letras (or signage shop) every day and I finally took a moment to read what they had to offer. It seemed like they might have what we were looking for. I took a deep breath and entered. I was polite and said "buenas tardes, como esta?" and then plunged in to an awkward, but apparently intelligible request for "lamina para vidrios que  puede darnos una poca de privacidad." (Laminate for glass that can give us a bit of privacy...I probably should have used subjunctive, now that I think about it - pueda instead of puede). "En el estilo de helado?" was the response (or something to that effect - I only really caught the helado part). Yes! That's exactly what we wanted - to make the window look frosted.

How I felt for the first 6 months or so...

Needless to say we left with a sheet of lamina helado and a plastic scraper to smooth out the bubbles. Success!


Here's the thing you need to know, or at least this is my experience...I'm usually so wrapped up in trying to think about how to say a thing, and deconstructing once the words are uttered that I normally miss whatever the response is, or only catch the tail end of it. I'm hoping this is normal. I also spend a lot of time after thinking about ways I could have said things better, after the fact. I just wish that my conclusions would stick in my brain and offer themselves up readily during the next challenge, but alas this is not the case.

Si, hablo espanol!

I know enough to know I'm not saying things correctly, but unpracticed enough not to be able to correct everything right away...sometimes it comes to me an hour later, but bless the Ecuadorians, they are patient and don't even cringe as I butcher their language. They're the first to tell me that my Spanish is very good (they mean for a "gringa") and while I don't believe them entirely, it's still nice to hear.

So, thank you Ana-Luisa (of Coffee Club Spanish spanishcoffeeclub@gmail.com) for your patience, guidance and humour...I'm sorry I can't be the star pupil that leaves your class with fully functioning Spanish, but I know more than I did a year and a bit ago, which I'll have to be satisfied with for now.

Why Ecuador Isn't Like Canada 2.0

I bet most of you are thinking..."Of course Ecuador isn't like Canada, don't be silly! Ecuador is warm, Canada is not!" There is some truth to that, but Canada isn't the frozen wasteland many people imagine it to be, but that isn't the point of this post. What is different is the time North American's obsess making their home "nice". While people like "nice" things here, it isn't their be all and end all of existence. First of all, there isn't time for it and secondly, isn't family more important than worrying about whether your paint tones match? (Plus there's an entirely different style design aesthetic here.)


These facts don't take away from the beauty of the countryside, amiability of the people or general pleasure of life here. What it does do is occasionally take you aback.


Case in point; TV and internet installers. They genuinely want your business, but I'm guessing that they have little training when it comes to the care and maintenance of a client's property. Our brand new building has beautiful lines of conduit, through which to run coaxial cable, tastefully hidden by interior walls with panels for easy access. 

Each apartment is duly wired and ready for telephone,internet and TV, but for some strange and unknowable reason (that even the builder doesn't understand) the various companies are unable (or unwilling) to use the lines provided. This necessitated 'cables visibles' (I'm pretty sure you can figure out the translation on that) to be run across the outside of the building to each suite and through a hole in the window frame. Complete madness.


The actual process to get the lines installed involved a dozen different people (from the cable provider) and at least five appointments. The second to last set of installers told us it would be a good idea to run the cables through the existing conduit (!!!), in complete contravention of what all the other techs, installers and salesmen insisted on. We said "Great! Let's do it." Then he talked to his supervisor and the answer was a flat "No." It would have saved us from the following unsightliness.

Across apartment below

Around the corner - why pin it neatly against the wall, right?

Along the patio dividing wall on lower level, so what
if it slipped off the wall a little? No one will notice!

The only thing I can figure (concerning non-use of the existing conduit) is that the cable company is worried about people jacking into the wires and stealing their services. (Probably not a completely unwarranted  concern.) That being said, the installers had no real concern for the window sills and heavily damaged our neighbour's wall in the process of trying to install the cable line. (A wall that had already been repaired once after having his blinds installed.) Had they but asked for a towel or piece of cardboard the wall would have been fine.

To save our own windows Ron put the hole in the window frame himself and drilled appropriate holes to ensure the cable wasn't running pell-mell across our living room floor.

In Canada, we would deem all of this as completely unacceptable, but this is just how it is here. If you want things done a certain way, you have to be ready to provide the necessary equipment (example; a hammer for the handyman - true story) and help. What we've come to accept as the norm (as North Americas) really isn't. A worker here gets the job done, without thinking about the before and after.

The good thing is, that for the most part, the workers are willing to try and remedy the situation, if they suddenly find themselves face to face with a disappointed (and often irate) home owner. It's just all part of the learning process.

They deserve a bit of slack. Imagine living in a house complied of items you scrounged. This is the reality of many Ecuadorians, especially when it comes to installing a roof; they can be made from found items like plastic sheets (hard and soft) metal scraps and even cardboard (used mostly for temporary patching). There isn't a lot of need to "seal" the house...many have large gaps between the cinder block and around their door frames and windows, or sometimes the window is missing all together. Don't get me wrong, there is definitely money here in Cuenca and it certainly isn't the expats that have the majority, despite the prevailing stereotype, but a good portion of the workers come from outside of the city, where houses have electricity, but not a whole lot else. It is their reality, so people like us, who have lots of windows, good furniture and several appliances (pure luxury!) are the exception to the rule, in their experience.



All this being said, we're in our new space, have internet and TV ($65/month including HD), plus hot water (you don't truly appreciate it, until you don't have it for a while) and we even have upper kitchen cabinets. Life is good and that's just about all that anyone can ask for.


Oh, and for those of you wondering about TV and internet quality, they're both fairly reliable, with just enough quirks to remind you where you are.

Ecuador: Not Just a Cheap Place to Live (Tough Love Edition)

Cuenca, Ecuador has once again topped the list of best places to retire in the world. This is good news for those people with investments (particularly investment property) here in Ecuador. Many people can hear the cha-ching of yet another positive report.

It's not just about money...trust me on this.

The country is highly touted as a CHEAP PLACE TO LIVE, but under NO circumstances should anyone move here just for that reason. There is so much more to Ecuador, that it's a crime to use that as top billing. Many people come just for that and are disappointed.

Let's be serious - this is an emerging country, with strong arguments to classify it as part of the second world nations. This is NOT a little United States, Canada or any other first world country. Not only that, but it's had hundreds (thousands, really) of years to develop its own culture, processes and identity; which for us is what makes it amazing. What you might see as backwards and frustrating is actually a step forward here; something that Ecuadorians have worked very hard to achieve and are very proud of.

 

Brand new park facilities...with a view and not the type we're used to!

Crazily dangerous things for the kids to play on...but they live to tell the tale.

If you come here to save a few bucks, you'll likely be wasting your time and, in complete frankness, your hard earned money. It's an expensive thing to relocate to another country, let alone finding out, after several months (or quite frequently less) that you can't tolerate the culture. 

We already knew we loved it, before we shipped our stuff.

To me, its ridiculous for people to complain that Ecuadorians don't speak enough English, or do things the 'right' way. This is a Spanish speaking country with its own laws and traditions and for anyone to expect a people to change to make a foreigner more comfortable is laughable. Bless the Ecuadorians for being patient with my mangled Spanish, my occasional social blunders and strange ways. I came here to change myself, not to change things around me.

The sign reads "Motorcycle parking prohibited" - classic!

If you like bright, loud festivals with many fireworks (at all times of day even 6 in the morning), unexpected parades (that block traffic and result in much car honking) and the occasional dousing in water (or spray foam, flour and confetti), then by all means come. If tatty sidewalks don't throw you off, and you have the patience of Job to process paperwork, pay bills and order food; then come. If you can handle seemingly nice, understanding people turning into complete lunatics when behind the wheel of a car, then come. If you want to at least attempt to learn Spanish, then please, pack your bags and hop a plane.

 

Take on Amazonian traditional dress (a first for me in the small parades)

Matadors

Even angels and Bible characters get thirsty

Egyptians...maybe the Exodus??

Bands, floats and traffic mayhem!

But if you're looking to save a buck and still have the life you have wherever you are now, don't bother. Unless you're willing to embrace the culture and the country, please don't come here. You aren't doing yourself any favours, let alone the Ecuadorians and, worse, you'll just make it harder for the expats who really want to be here. (That's the cold hard truth that many happy expats think, but will not say - that's why I call it tough love.) We have come across Ecuadorians who just don't want to do business with foreigners, even if you speak the language and I can only assume that someone, sometime must have really ticked them off.

If you do decide to come, plan to spend the first three months adapting - it won't seem so bad really, even though things will be strange and overwhelming. The next three months are kind of a honeymoon phase: you know where to get groceries, you've taken the bus and a few taxis and you've met some nice people and the weather, well it's pretty darned awesome. The next six months are the real trial...trying to find a more permanent place to live, dealing with obtaining residency, realizing that not having a solid grasp of basic Spanish is a hassle and it's usually when you lose some of those nice people you met...they've headed back to wherever they came from because it was all just too foreign/more expensive than they thought/or several other reasons.

Please, do your research, come for a multi-month visit before you buy a property, sell all your worldly possessions and make the leap. My husband and I, well, we're really used to change and we did several things that positioned us really well to adapt to this new experience. It's not for everybody. Being away from family and long time friends is challenging. If you're set in your ways and can only use one brand of this thing or only eat that brand of whatever the change here will come hard and could be a deal breaker.

This life is a choice and we choose to embrace it as best we can, with good humour, humbleness and joy. Please, please make sure you want to do the same.

Attaining Satisfaction: Putting English Aside

We've made quite a few friends here in Ecuador; all really great people with good attitudes and a general zest for life. Most have embraced the lifestyle here in Cuenca and have attempted, on one level or another, to learn Spanish, which, of course, is a good thing. Not everyone has a good capacity for language, but locals really appreciate the attempt and are generally kind and patient.


This has brought me to a new thought, based on people's success (or lack thereof) in learning Spanish.I'd never really thought about it before, but there are definitely levels of language: travel, survival, passing knowledge, conversational and fluency. (I'm sure there are also stages- within each, but that's too much to ponder at this moment.) I know, you're thinking to yourself, of course there are, Danica! But when someone says they're learning (fill in the language) I always assume they're shooting for fluency. This is not always the case, some people are happy with "getting by". (Who knew?) Anyhow, here's my personal list of language levels:

Saying something louder, or speaking English with a Spanish accent is pretty ineffectual.

Travel Spanish allows you to order food, book a hotel room and find key tourist spots. It consists of several memorized phrases and the hope that whoever answers you speaks slowly and uses a lot of hand gestures or, better yet, advanced charades techniques.

Survival Spanish is a step above Travel. You might be able to tell a pharmacist what hurts or make a passing comment about the weather. This is also characterized by the hope that who ever answers your query, again, speaks slowly and is a charade champion.


Passing Knowledge of Spanish (or PKS) is one of the more dangerous levels to practice. You know enough to make compound sentences, if you get enough time and practice in before hand. The usual result of PKS is a rapid barge of Spanish in answer to your well formed question. Unfortunately, you're still hoping the responder will speak slowly and utilize international hand signals as well.

This is me, quite frequently

Conversational Spanish isn't terribly different from PKS, but you are more comfortable speaking off the cuff, can indicate past, present and future tense and when you're really on your game throw in a subjunctive statement every now and again (Don't know what subjunctive is? That's okay, that's why we have the internet!). When conversing, you can catch a good portion of what most people are saying, regardless of speed, but it also requires that you already know the context of the conversation, which often requires the much hoped for slow speech or the ever popular hand gestures, pointing out the topic.


Fluency, for most of us, is a pipe dream. That moment when you get mistaken for a native speaker and beam with pride will likely never happen. That being said, some people can get to the point where hand gestures aren't required and you have a large enough vocabulary to pick up the gist of the conversation with out visual cues.


What's my point in all of this? Achieving at least a level that reaches near conversational Spanish is going to make life in a Spanish speaking country much more pleasant. You don't have to wait for the only English (or choose you're own native language) speaking person at the business, who might be highly in demand. You'll save money by not needing to hire a translator to conduct basic business, like setting up internet and cable TV, getting a hair cut or negotiating for that much desired window seat at a popular restaurant.

I honestly believe that many people here get frustrated for those reasons. It's hard to wait for half an hour until the English speaker is free, or to have to have people redo things, because there's been some confusion with what you really wanted, or just not being sure if what someone is saying to you is important or not. You also get to talk with the locals; those that don't speak English and while the prospect is daunting, the outcome is almost always rewarding. (Be prepared to repeat yourself, they're almost always surprised to hear Spanish out of a foreigner's mouth.)


Consider this when planning on relocating to a country with a different language than your own. It's well worth the struggle, occasional embarrassment and time. And remember to get a really good grip on a language it takes a good four years and that's when you're immersed in it.


Finally, I'd like to give a shout out to Charity and Ana Luisa of Coffee Club Spanish. Ana Luisa is my actual teacher and she has brought me to somewhere between PKS and conversational - a pretty good achievement for a year of study and I'm giving all the credit to their program. If I can do it, so can you and it's well worth the effort. Just wait for my first Spanish blog post!